Marriages end in Divorce on average close to 50%. While it is impossible to accurately determine what the stats are in all the separate States, it seems that where there is more celebrity and wealth – there are more divorces and so perhaps setting a bit more of the tone for “Divorce”. Do we understand the impact that we are having on the next generation and how we are actually glamorizing divorce? We seem to hold the wealthy and celebrity in such high media regard that when things go sideways for them, the younger more vulnerable generation gets to go right along for that ride and listen to all the laundry and sometimes sex appeal that seems to go along with that. What kind of legacy they are leaving – Good – Bad – Indifferent?
It was bad and now gone to worst with the newest to join the movement of Divorce – J-Lo and Mark Anthony. Is this not so sad? Can we not shelter ourselves, and the younger generation, from this disposable marriage trend?
While our hearts go out to both of them, as we clearly have no idea of what happened behind closed doors, we preferred the fantasy of a fairy tale marriage – thank you very much. OK, so there are perhaps more temptations in the world of stardom when you are surrounded by beauty and bronze but the outcome is that our children are going to think of marriages in terms of months and years – certainly not decades. While we can be pretty certain that all of these these influential take their vows seriously, then what can go so wrong so fast and so often?
Perhaps we do need to dig further considering the huge influence they have. We do know that it is easier, not less painful, to get divorced when you have money but there has to be so much more to it. While celebrities and other influential people do get divorced more often, the trend is everywhere and touches people at all socio economic levels. What is it? Is the me generation turned into the me alone or me with a many marriages as I can fit into one life time generation? According to Jane Fonda’s new book – perhaps we need a marriage for each stage of our life. Judgement aside – she seems to have had a great life so far.
The media whether intentionally or not is glamorizing divorce and we are fueling it. When did we loose all those traditional values? Is it perhaps that with the dual income fame and fortune generation that we have become so egocentric that our value system has simply changed and traditional marriage is not a top society value anymore? Or do we really care? While labelling things as good or bad seems to get us into trouble – perhaps the best way to approach marriage breakup is with some indifference so we do not fuel it either way. In North America, families divorce for many reasons one of which is financial stress. Another main reason is lack of communication. Adultery certainly plays a role but is more of a symptom then a cause. Or perhaps at the end of the day it is simply just boredom. It would not be surprising if this might be an increasing reason. Not sure where that leaves us.
The problem is that our children are the product of this trend and since we clearly do not have it figured out then we are sending so many mixed messages. Their heads must be spinning. Kids emulate values and actions and yet we seem to be all over the map when it comes to marriage, relationships and divorce. Those with influence are certainly not to blame but lets hope that they understand the impact of their actions and the mentoring role they play whether they like it or not. The rest of us need to do our best to mentor at our homes and in our communities.
Recent tabloids are talking about Brad and Angelina getting married. To them should we say; “run” and “don’t do it”. For the rest of us and perhaps them, should we say go forward with caution and great understanding of each other and yourself. Either way, we all have a responsibility to just do the best we can with as much comprehension of our impact on others as possible.
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