Posts belonging to Category Collaborative Divorce

HOW TO NEGOTIATE WITHOUT CAUSING TROUBLE, PARTICULARLY WITH A DOMINANT SPOUSE

A lot of my clients talk with their spouses directly about settlement of divorce disputes.  Many times my clients want to know what to say.  I have developed a simple script for them to follow.  The simplicity is important, because they need to be able to remember the script under pressure. Here it is: Give only [...]

IF DIVORCE INVOLVES COMPLEX ISSUES CAN YOU STILL USE A MEDIATOR?

A mediator should help parties reach an agreement that is manageable.  Neither party should be completely happy or completely dissatisfied.  When a case goes before a judge, the judge is, in fact, limited in the types of resolutions he or she can provide in a case.   In mediation, the parties can be far more flexible [...]

DIVORCE IS NOT ONE SIZE FITS ALL

                  A divorce can be both scary and a relief from marital problems which cannot be otherwise corrected.  The divorce means a loss of a relationship, a loss of time with children, and possibly a loss of money or property.  It can also be a step towards independence and self-preservation if one is getting away [...]

WHAT ARE CUSTODY RIGHTS BEFORE THERE’S AN ORDER?

Before a court has entered some form of order, each parent has equal rights to custody. Unfortunately, if parents choose to, they can play a vicious and destructive game of “keep away.” Sometimes a “keep away” strategy is necessary, but in such cases, court assistance should be sought as soon as possible. Until there is [...]

ABUSE CAN BE VERY SUBTLE BUT JUST AS DESTRUCTIVE AS A PUNCH IN THE NOSE

As a family lawyer, I often deal with abuse that is difficult, if not impossible to prove.  The divorce lawyer faces many obstacles in dealing with this. First, many people don’t fully appreciate the abuse they are suffering because it is so subtle.  Second, the abused person often feels either responsible or so embarrassed that [...]

PROTECT YOURSELF FROM HAVING LANGUAGE INTERPRETED AGAINST YOU WHEN YOU ARE THE DRAFTER

All attorneys know there are “rules of construction” in the interpretation of contracts and agreements.  These rules call for the Court to first see if the language is clear without further testimony.  If the language is not clear, the Court might hear testimony as to the intent of the parties.  If the intent is still [...]

YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR NAME IN YOUR DIVORCE

All too often, a female client will think about changing her name after we have entered the divorce.  She wants to know how to do it.  This is a shame, because it is easy to incorporate the name change in the Order of the divorce with one sentence and it is done!  One consideration for [...]

IF IT AIN’T WRITTEN DOWN, IT WON’T HAPPEN

Divorce negotiation is a tricky thing.  It is much more complicated than a business negotiation because of the emotions involved.  It is also made difficult by the fact that few married people can negotiate at what we call “arms length.”  Each party has emotional leverage on the other.  Most often, one party has superior emotional [...]

Mediation vs. Litigation – A common sense trend to Resolving Matrimonial Issues

Finding yourself on the doorsteps of divorce is hard enough emotionally but add the multitude of decisions that are going to have to be made and it can feel completely overwhelming. While there are only two main areas for decision-making; kids and money, coming to resolution can take years and use up a lot of [...]

No Nonsense Divorce Tips for Men

Divorce does not need to define you but how you choice to move through it can. The old antage – Fail to plan – plan to fail is rite with wisdom.  While finding yourself on the door steps of divorce may not have been your plan – you can start taking charge. Set the course [...]

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