Posts belonging to Category Mediation

HOW TO NEGOTIATE WITHOUT CAUSING TROUBLE, PARTICULARLY WITH A DOMINANT SPOUSE

A lot of my clients talk with their spouses directly about settlement of divorce disputes.  Many times my clients want to know what to say.  I have developed a simple script for them to follow.  The simplicity is important, because they need to be able to remember the script under pressure. Here it is: Give only [...]

IF DIVORCE INVOLVES COMPLEX ISSUES CAN YOU STILL USE A MEDIATOR?

A mediator should help parties reach an agreement that is manageable.  Neither party should be completely happy or completely dissatisfied.  When a case goes before a judge, the judge is, in fact, limited in the types of resolutions he or she can provide in a case.   In mediation, the parties can be far more flexible [...]

DIVORCE IS NOT ONE SIZE FITS ALL

                  A divorce can be both scary and a relief from marital problems which cannot be otherwise corrected.  The divorce means a loss of a relationship, a loss of time with children, and possibly a loss of money or property.  It can also be a step towards independence and self-preservation if one is getting away [...]

PROTECT YOURSELF FROM HAVING LANGUAGE INTERPRETED AGAINST YOU WHEN YOU ARE THE DRAFTER

All attorneys know there are “rules of construction” in the interpretation of contracts and agreements.  These rules call for the Court to first see if the language is clear without further testimony.  If the language is not clear, the Court might hear testimony as to the intent of the parties.  If the intent is still [...]

IF IT AIN’T WRITTEN DOWN, IT WON’T HAPPEN

Divorce negotiation is a tricky thing.  It is much more complicated than a business negotiation because of the emotions involved.  It is also made difficult by the fact that few married people can negotiate at what we call “arms length.”  Each party has emotional leverage on the other.  Most often, one party has superior emotional [...]

Mediation vs. Litigation – A common sense trend to Resolving Matrimonial Issues

Finding yourself on the doorsteps of divorce is hard enough emotionally but add the multitude of decisions that are going to have to be made and it can feel completely overwhelming. While there are only two main areas for decision-making; kids and money, coming to resolution can take years and use up a lot of [...]

How to Negotiate a Successful Love Relationship Agreement © 2011

When you have a challenge in your love relationship you have only four choices:  1.      Change yourself (this requires introspection and self-honesty); 2.      Negotiate for modifications (this necessitates effective listening and a demonstration of understanding); 3.      Leave the relationship (if you have tried the first two, including professional guidance to no avail); 4.      Don’t do [...]

THE POWER OF QUICKEN

Every divorce case is a financial planning negotiation and requires the development of detailed budget, asset and liability information.  Assets and liabilities are relatively easy to pin down with documents and appraisals.  Accurate budget information is another thing altogether. Clients are usually told to sit down with their checks and credit cards and average the [...]

Getting Divorced – What is the first step?

The other day a woman called for advice. She just found out three days before that her husband was leaving.   She has been a stay at home mom with three children under 17 and maintains a healthy lifestyle supported by her husband’s good fortune in the market.  She wanted to know her rights and what [...]

New Rules for Ontario Divorce Start Today

As of today, the Ontario (Canada) Government is rolling out an initiative that requires spouses to attend a mandatory information session prior to filing for divorce. The plan to roll out these new divorce rules in Ontario was announced in December 2010 after the idea was tested in Milton and Brampton, Ontario. The session is [...]

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