Divorce is Here to Stay

We need to wake up and smell the coffee – divorce is here to stay…and we need to deal with it better.

I am not really sure how we created this mess in the first place.  Well perhaps I am sure but that would be a lengthy dissertation on the last 30 years in the legal system so lets cut to the chase and say that things need to change.

Recent stats have come out which clearly shows that people are continuing to divorce and the age group that is choosing to part ways is getting grayer each year. At the end of the day there are many reasons and articles speculating as to why this aging divorce trend has occurred but suffice it to say – it has and there is no indication that this trend will slow down.  We get that, and so why in the world are we not advocating for easier, less costly ways to wrap things upFor most divorces, there are two very delicate issues to deal with – money and kids.  But with the graying population, kids are usually gone and that leaves the money.  Spending 20 years in the financial industry and I can tell you that very few financial situations are that complicated.  In fact when looking at financial situations in divorce I can see the options almost immediately after the disclosure of financial information, so it absolutely blows my mind when I read about couples who are still spending hundreds of thousands of dollars (or less) fighting.

At what point in time are the masses going to understand that the only pockets that get richer are their Lawyers?  In most divorces there is a finite amount of wealth and people should be fighting to keep it in their pockets.  So I ask, what do we need to do to get people to start dealing with divorce like smart business people?  Negotiate the deal, paper it and move on.

Please do not misunderstand me, the divorce Lawyers are doing their jobs – advocating for one party to win and the other to loose.  But that is a zero sum game!

Do the math!

Here is the smart approach:

• Get legal advice – know your rights – do not use them to fight.
• Negotiate/mediate the deal with a well-qualified neutral party – get it papered properly by your Lawyers and move on.
• Cut the emotional crap out of negotiations and check them in at your counselors.
• Start approaching your divorce like the CEO of your finite wealth and maybe just maybe – we can start to change the costly negative effects of divorce on our bank accounts and society as a whole.

If more couples used the smart approach to divorce, the assets would stay in their pockets and their children would not feel the stress of their parents dissolving relationship.

Karen Stewart is a divorce expert and President and CEO ofFairway Divorce Solutions, Ltd., and has authored the book Clean Break, and has been featured in notable media outlets nationwide. Connect with Karen at 1-866-755-(FAIR) 3247, onTwitter, or email her at kstewart@fairwaydivorce.com.