Approximately one in every twenty kids has ADHD. That is more than one child per classroom, not to mention that it is probably an underestimate. These kids are hyper, distracted, impulsive, poorly organized, and, well, irritating. They are often intelligent, but have difficulty learning due to their distracted state of mind. Their hyperactivity can be so intense that parents may feel like pulling out their own hair because they can’t keep up. But this is a real medical condition, and it can be treated.
Unfortunately, divorce can make ADHD worse. This is not a biochemical process; it is a social process. In the midst of a divorce, parents are more distracted and kids are more emotional. If Johnny lives in two homes and has to bring all of his books back and forth, they might not all make it to school with him, and he’ll be penalized.
So what can you do? A lot.
First you need to understand that ADHD is highly treatable. When the diagnosis is missed, the chance of children with ADHD becoming involved with drugs and alcohol (especially as teenagers) is heightened due to their impulsivity and the degree to which they feel rejected by everyone around them. Medications can help a great deal by aiding the frontal lobe in its organization. Psycho-stimulants are the most common type of medication for a child with ADHD, but there are others to choose from as well.
In school, kids should sit in the front of the class. Being in the back reduces the presence of the teacher, and the likelihood of impulsive activity by the child becomes greater. If they’re in the front, they are less likely to be distracted by those around them and more attentive to teacher in front of them.
Kids with ADHD often have parents with the same disorder. And without help, the hyperactivity of a distracted child can be magnified by distracted parents. As an ADHD parent, if you had this as a kid, it may be worse for you. Get some help yourself. You’ll be surprised how good modern medicine can be in aiding your attentiveness, and more specifically, your parenting abilities.
Pay attention to paying attention.
Dr. Banschick is a child and adolescent psychiatrist. He has been quoted in The New York Times, The Huffington Post and The CBS Early Show. He is currently finishing the second of three books in The Intelligent Divorce series, which are devoted to teaching parents how to raise well adjusted kids during a divorce. You can reach him at mbanschick@gmail.com or at www.theintelligentdivorce.com
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