Dr. Cassandra Friedman, Ph.D., LCPC, CADC, brings 30 years of experience in speaking, teaching and private practice to amuse, challenge and motivate others to achieve more.
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I’d like to welcome back Dr. Cassandra Friedman. I hope you enjoyed her first post and found some inspiration and encouragement. She is back to answer a few more questions.
Q. What are some things to keep your spirits up during a divorce?
A. Number one on my list is to surround yourself with positive people. Divorce takes a lot of mental and physical energy. Toxic, negative people will drain your much needed energy. Get involved with something passionate, (a prior/new hobby). Find your spiritual side, (church/temple). As much as possible, Think Positively and remember, “This too shall pass.”
Q. I often hear from clients that their kids are doing well, but if I ever talk to adults whose parents went through a divorce when they were younger, they often say that time was very traumatic. Are the parents misreading their kids? Is it because counseling wasn’t as readily available ten, twenty, thirty years ago?
A. You’re right, resources such as the internet, support groups, and individual psychotherapy were not as readily available to children going through divorce back in the day. Such resources have greatly reduced the trauma of divorce.
These very same resources have greatly increased the parent’s ability to avoid costly mistakes in parenting during divorce. Another huge factor, due to the rise in divorce rates, is that children no longer have the label of coming from a broken home. Additionally, they now have more peers that they can relate to. There is less shame associated with divorce, which will definitely help the children of divorce look back on that time in their lives with less anger and less trauma.
Q. What kinds of resources are there for people going through divorce?
A. There is so much out there today. The most frequently used are: Internet to gather information and feel part of a community, support groups, and individual psychotherapy. These are great resources which will allow people going through divorce to get the best and latest information, find the best available help, and find help specific to the area in which they live. It is very important to understand that these resources speed up the grieving and healing process and allow you to get back to life.
Michael C. Craven is a well-known divorce attorney and a partner of the Beermann Swerdlove, LLP law firm in the Chicago area. He is highly respected among other divorce lawyers, judges and his clients. He is also a CPA and a LLM (Masters in Tax Law). Click here to email Michael for additional information about his services.