• Escape if you can. (Plan designated escape routes)
• Hide under a desk or in a closet or anywhere you can find.
• If left with no choice, fight back. (Do not beg for your life!)

The best example of fighting back is the female school board member in Florida who swung her purse at a gunman intent on shooting the school board.  She was not shot.

(Note: the rules for dealing with a robber are different.)

Your firm should also develop plans for dealing with other emergencies such as fire, storms and earthquakes.

You can find detailed guidelines for dealing with an armed intruder on our website.

There are just as many cases which affirm an equal distribution as there are cases which take the separate contribution into account.  The Court has said that an exact “credit” for separate funds is not called for. In the recent case of Gordon v. Gordon, NO. 2010–CA–01227–COA, (App. Ct. Miss. 1/17/2012) the court of appeals affirmed a Chancellor’s award of an exact credit for $70,000 of separate money invested in the marital home.

The moral of the story seems to be that Chancellors have vast discretion in determining how to deal with separate money contributed to a joint home and there is no way to make a prediction in such cases.

Abuse is often subtle or hard to detect or prove.  Abusers use techniques for verbal, physical or sexual abuse which make it hard discern what is happening.

Most, if not all, states require most professionals and any person to report abuse to the State.  For example, Doctors who witness bruises or suspicious breaks (e.g. spiral) on a child.  While some abuse may be obvious, most is not.  The Mississippi Department of Human Services has developed the following guide list for determining if more subtle signs of abuse are subject to report:

The following is taken from the Mississippi Department of Human Services website.

Abuse Is:

• Emotional/Verbal Abuse is anything said or done that is hurtful or threatening to a child and is the most difficult form of maltreatment to identify:
• Name calling, “You’re stupid”
• Belittling, “I wish you were never born”
• Destroying child’s possessions or pets
• Threatens to harm child or people they care about, “I’m going to choke you” or “I’ll break your arm”
• Locking a child in a closet or box
• Rejecting a child
• Isolating a child
• Sexual Abuse is any inappropriate touching by a friend, family member, anyone having on-going contact and/or a stranger such as:
• Touching a child’s genital area
• Any type of penetration of a child
• Allowing a child to view or participate in pornography
• Prostitution, selling your child for money, drugs, etc.
• Forcing a child to perform oral sex acts
• Masturbating in front of a child
• Having sex in front of a child
• Physical Abuse is any type of contact that results in bodily harm such as bruising, abrasions, broken bones, internal injuries, burning, missing teeth and skeletal injuries:
• Hitting or slapping a child with an extension cord, hands, belts, fists, broom handles, brushes, etc.
• Putting child into hot water
• Cutting the child with a knife or any other sharp object
• Shaking or twisting arms or legs, yanking a child by the arm
• Putting tape over a child’s mouth
• Tying a child up with rope or cord
• Throwing a child across a room or down the stairs
• Neglect means not meeting the basic needs of the child and is the most common form of maltreatment:
• Medical - not giving a child life-sustaining medicines, overmedicating, not obtaining special treatment devices deemed necessary by a physician
• Supervision - leaving child/children unattended and leaving child/children in the care of other children too young to protect them (depending upon the maturity of the child)
• Clothing and good hygiene - dressing children inadequately for weather, persistent skin disorders resulting from improper hygiene
• Nutrition - lack of sufficient quantity or quality of food, letting a child consistently complain of hunger and allowing the child to rummage for food
• Shelter - having structurally unsafe housing, inadequate heating, and unsanitary housing conditions

REPORT ABUSE

• Online: https://www.msabusehotline.mdhs.ms.gov/home.aspx
• Hotline: 1-800-222-8000 Statewide toll-free line that is answered 24 hours a day, seven days a week

Contact Information
Mississippi Department of Human Services
Division of Family & Children’s Services
Administration/Prevention Unit
1-800-345-6347 | 1-800-222-8000

Visit our web site for material on abuse at chinnandassociates.com.  We often recommend the book, The Verbally Abusive Relationship, by Patricia Evans (2010, Adams Media).  This book helps clients identify the abuse they are suffering and educates them on how to step out of the cycle.  A friend recently told me about another helpful book called, The Emotionally Destructive Relationship: Seeing It, Stopping It, Surviving It, by Leslie Vernick,  (2007, Harvest House).  In Chapter 1 she defines the emotionally destructive relationship. Importantly, she shows how destruction in relationships can be much more subtle and not always malicious as we often imagine abuse to be.

Education about abuse is important not just to determine to get out of a relationship, but also to possibly help people identify ways to step out of the cycle and save a marriage.

Future Interpretation. Both parties agree that should any future dispute arise as to the interpretation of this agreement or any part thereof, the agreement shall be construed as having been equally drafted by both parties as if each party drafted each and every word and, therefore, should not be construed against a party because that party actually prepared the agreement.

There is a danger, however, to those who enjoy less negotiation power, or who want out of the marriage, or who want things to be pleasant.  In the spirit of cooperation, or in an effort to end the conflict, sometimes people agree to written agreements with a side understanding that certain other things will be done.

Don’t go for it.

Whatever is not written in an agreement cannot be relied upon.  Even if the promise is made in good faith–which is rarely the case–circumstances change after divorce, and the desire to honor the promise may pass.  Clients should advise their attorneys of any verbal side deals they may be relying upon and seek their advice before signing an agreement that has verbal side deals attached to it.

Couples using our expensive courtroom resources to fight their personal battles has to come to an end.  This is a step in the right direction.  The new Act steers couples towards mediation, which is obviously music to Fairway Divorce Solutions’ ears but more importantly it is clearly in the best interest of children and their parents and it will also save a ton of wasted taxpayers money at the same time.  The unfortunate reality of our system is that those who really need a Judges intervention often do not get heard “in time”.  We do not need to look much past our front pages of the newspaper to read of the tragedy of families that were “lost” in our system.

I personally admire BC’s attorney general for the initiative and I look forward to other provinces getting on board.  If we can save one child from the tragic outcome created because of our system and if we can start to empower children of divorce to move through their parents divorce without emotional harm – then we can start to change the way divorce happens.  The new Act focuses primarily on the well being of the children and I am hopeful that this agenda will create greater accountability within the system as it is long overdue.  Press Release 

The Team at Chinn & Associates, PLLC