Loss of the homestead benefit can be prevented by filing a new application for the exemption as soon as the change in ownership or use takes place.  Note: this loss can occur with the simple act of one of the spouses moving out!  I am informed the tax assessor’s office has several ways to detect changes in occupancy, so don’t assume your change will not be noticed by the taxing authority.

(Special thanks to excellent loan closing attorney, Jay Cooke, of Jackson, Ms for alerting me to this unknown danger).

(1) Whenever a court of this state enters a decree or order awarding custody of a minor child to one (1) of the parents of the child or terminating the parental rights of one (1) of the parents of a minor child, or whenever one (1) of the parents of a minor child dies, either parent of the child’s parents may petition the court in which the decree or order was rendered or, in the case of the death of a parent, petition the chancery court in the county in which the child resides, and seek visitation rights with the child.
Miss. Code. Ann. § 93-16-3(1) (Supp. 2011).

In the 1997 case of Martin v. Coop, 693 So. 2d 912, 916 (Miss. 1997) the Court set forth ten factors for courts to consider in awarding grandparent visitation:

As always, the best interest of the child must be the polestar consideration. The visitation should be less than that which would be awarded to a non-custodial parent, unless the circumstances overwhelming dictate that that amount of visitation is in the best interest of the child, and it would be harmful to the child not to grant it. The following factors should be considered by the chancery court in determining grandparent visitation, and no one should be weighed more heavily than the others.

1. The amount of disruption that extensive visitation will have on the child’s life. This includes disruption of school activities, summer activities, as well as any disruption that might take place between the natural parent and the child as a result of the child being away from home for extensive lengths of time.
2. The suitability of the grandparents’ home with respect to the amount of supervision received by the child.
3. The age of the child.
4. The age, and physical and mental health of the grandparents.
5. The emotional ties between the grandparents and the grandchild.
6. The moral fitness of the grandparents.
7. The distance of the grandparents’ home from the child’s home.
8. Any undermining of the parent’s general discipline of the child.
9. Employment of the grandparents and the responsibilities associated with that employment.
10. The willingness of the grandparents to accept that the rearing of the child is the responsibility of the parent, and that the parent’s manner of child rearing is not to be interfered with by the grandparents.

The Court distinguished Mississippi’s statute and decisions  from the Supreme Court’s decision in Troxel v. Granville, 530 U.S. 57(2000) which struck down a Washington state statute allowing any person to seek visitation, stating that Mississippi’s statute is more narrow in that it only allows for grandparent visitation and that the Supreme Court in Troxel specifically left open the possibility for legal grandparent visitation statutes.

Disability Insurance.  

a. Husband shall maintain a disability insurance policy with Wife designated as the beneficiary in the amount of money each month that Husband is obligated to pay to Wife in the sum of child support and alimony.

b. Upon execution of this Agreement, Husband shall deliver to Wife such insurance policy or policies or a certificate of insurance evidencing the assignment and beneficiary designations set forth above and Husband shall execute and deliver all forms, instruments and documents which may be required to effectuate the intent of this Agreement.

c. Husband shall not borrow against the policy nor in any manner pledge or encumber same.

d. Husband hereby authorizes Wife to obtain direct confirmation from the insurance carriers of the policies described herein of his compliance with the provisions of this Article and further agrees that he will, upon demand, execute and deliver to Wife, without charge therefor, whatever instruments, documents, or authorizations which may be necessary and desirable in order that Wife may document Husband’s compliance with this article.

Prudence calls for great care in believing what is presented on the web.  And remember, a troubled marriage or a separated marriage is still a marriage. Any sexual intercourse with a person who is not divorced is still adultery, even if the parties are separated or moving towards divorce.  In addition, even if the meeting is innocent, one can still get caught up in the middle of a dispute as a potential witness.

Divorce parties have become a popular event to try and make the transition from married life to single life as smooth as possible.

• When preparing financial statements, subpoenas, agreements and other pleadings, do not provide the first five digits of social security numbers and only provide enough digits of bank account numbers for the parties themselves to distinguish accounts.
• When your client’s financial, medical or other records are requested or subpoenaed, take steps to block or redact information which can be used for identity theft, such as social security numbers, names of close relatives, birthdays, etc.
• Whenever possible seek to seal divorce or other family law cases so personal information cannot be obtained from the public record.  In light of what is going on, more and more judges should be receptive to this.
• Routinely shred all documents instead of throwing them away.

Comments on other measures are welcomed.

Because it’s easy to get pulled back into situations and emotionally charged issues you worked so hard to extricate yourself from, protect yourself with these tips to keep hidden anger from seeping back into your relationship with your ex-spouse:

•  Watch out for emotional reasoning or “feel think,” when a person allows his/her emotions to rule without indeed checking whether any suspicions, jealousy or other feelings are valid.  Passive-aggressive individuals have a tendency to see things more starkly – all or nothing, black or white – without seeing any shades of gray or in between. Very often these feelings and faulty perspectives feed anger that seep out in indirect ways.

•  Know that passive-aggressive spouses who are also self-absorbed will expect that things work out for them, but not for you.  They will very often send off mixed messages saying one thing, doing another.   Resist the urge to share details of your successes and to believe their friendliness because you may find back-stabbing in the next encounter.

•  Realize that you may never have closure on what anger issues lurked in your marriage.  This can be frustrating to live with.  Likely, if your ex-spouse hid a lot of anger, there won’t be a sudden recognition of that anger either.  Awareness could come gradually or not at all.

•  Resist playing the typical passive-aggressive games.  Not every comment has to have a response, nor email or other exchange.  Ignore what you can, back away from any tendency to have the last word or react.  Talk friendly yet assertively.  Making points just keeps the game going.

•  Know that it may take time to convince third parties or the court system of any manipulation.  But have faith that in time, process plays out and when there’s light to be seen, reasonably minded people usually do see this.  Children will see the light as well, when they are older, and if there’s light to be seen.  Especially if you operate from a good value system without reactivity, your behavior will also look exemplary in the minds of others.

(Portions of this came from the book Overcoming Passive-Aggression: How to Stop Hidden Anger From Spoiling Your Relationships, Career and Happiness by Tim Murphy, Ph.D. and Loriann Hoff Oberlin, M.S., LCPC)

Visit www.overcomingpassiveaggression.com for more information

Like the book on Facebook as well

Until a court order is entered, both spouses have access to the home.  The remaining spouse can change the locks or install a security system, but the other spouse still has a legal right to enter the premises as long as they do not cause a “breach of the peace.”  They can simply get a deed to the house and get a locksmith to let them in.  In such situations, the alarm system is probably the best protection you could have, but it won’t, in the end, keep them out.

Whether one opts to change the locks or install a security system, there are other measures to take.  The first is to have a trusted neighbor or two who are home much of the time keep an eye on the house and let you know if a moving van shows up in the drive way.  Another important step is to take valuable or irreplaceable items out of the house.  Things such as rings, watches, inherited items, valuable collections, valuable guns, etc. should simply be removed and put in a safe place.  Finally, inventory and video tape your personal possessions.  This will be helpful in identifying “lifted” items and it will also be helpful in the event of a divorce because all property must be inventoried and appraised.

(P.S. If you are the one leaving, you better take everything you want, or you may have trouble getting it later, but that’s the subject of another blog.)

If you could turn back the clock just before the relationship deteriorated or during the legal process, what would you have done differently to save the pain and anger you or your children may be experiencing then or now?

Too often, relationship end because of the unexpected challenges that one could not handle. With arguing and abusive fights, pain can take control of ones rational thinking. If one or both parties are unable to step back and look at the issues appropriately, the children are at risk of being damaged, just like the, “aftermath of a Hurricane.”

As a person who trusted her parents and brother, I found myself in a custody battle with them, 1990 -1992. All though I won, no one won in the long run. The family was unwilling to, move forward, and sharing my knowledge was rejected.  The impact led to my children and  grandchildren being used as pawns.  A key family  member  focused on anger and spite vs. love and acceptance, until their recent passing.  Their actions are seen as textbooks and the professionals invovled were the teachers.

With the abundant knowledge gained in understanding: Human behavior, family court, how to be a dectective, to being a  former Guradin Ad Litem, the lives of other families and their children have been enriched.  Helping and supporting single parents with the right tools and information, to be “positive role models for their children,” is how I  turn challenges  into positive energy and success.”  Below are valuable tips on avoiding the common pitfalls and how you too can find success!

Destructive Parenting Behaviors

I hear the heartache of parents whose children are grown, who still behave destructively. With anger being such a strong emotion, often people are unwilling to let go. The joy of being spiteful spells, “relief and satisfaction,” but in the end it’s causes self destruction.

A fear for parents is, ‘Parental Alienation Syndrome.” This syndrome reflects intentional, and or subliminal actions, known as “brainwashing.” Parents speak negatively or are critical of the other parent to the children. This includes: Blaming the other parent by stating, “If your mother/father would pay for the financial support, we would not be in this situation.” Just recently I heard of a case where the father for over 30 years, told his daughter that he was not her father.

In the extreme cases of anger, a parent will kill the child and them selves, commit parental abductions, or move to a foreign country where they have family.

The impact on children comes in many forms: Parents fail to realize their actions can make their children feel uncomfortable, nervous or scared without realizing it.

How

• Asking the child to pass messages to the other parent
• Fear mentioning the other parent because of the voice tone, 
• Denied putting up pictures up of the other parent.

Children may transition from being outgoing to shyness or rebellious at home and in school, to not doing homework etc.

Anger can create resentment towards authority that lead to self destructive behaviors. Children are at risk of becoming addicts, criminals, mentally ill, abusive, to neglectful parents.

Grandparents of the children are key, if they work in the, “Best Interest of the Children.” But if they refuse to work in this manner, the parent child relationship can be damaged beyond belief. My suggestion, “if your family is toxic,” address these issues in the, beginning of when the relationship is ending if possible.

How You Can Avoid the Hurricane?

If you know how to display positive ways to cope, your children will learn from you. Become active in activities that you enjoy to release pain and anger. This will build trust, confidence, and self-esteem that are critical to being a successful role model. Put the anger to the side as well as the fighting in front of the children, by understanding what it means to work in the “Best Interest of the Children.” Family’s who do, achieve personal and professional success!

Resources Available to Help You:

Voice for the Children: “Helps families of Parental Abducted Children. Founder, Marian Malky has the oldest Parental Kidnapping case in Florida. www.voiceforthechildren.com

National Single Parent Resource Center & PMA: A resource center that offers, “group and individual coaching via the phone,” Skype, Internet Radio Show, Business Resource Directory, DVD training/tool kit. The mission: “Reduce the Risks of Abuse Children and Parents Can Face by offering unique programs that empower and support parents dealing with separation to family court & enjoying being a single parent, and be positive role models. ”  Looking for volunteer to make a difference http://www.nationalsingleparent.org