After a hiatus of a few decades – it is challenging to jump back into the dating scene post-divorce. Dating expectations have changed and our svelte figures have morphed into middle-aged bodies. There are a plethora of options in meeting potential mates which can be a bit overwhelming. What is a simple way to dip your toe into the dating pool without totally plunging in? Group Dating.
Group dating is a recent global trend that makes it less daunting to meet new people. Conversing in a group setting takes the pressure off feeling being judged. Remember the laughs back in high school and college when you went out in a mixed group? It was enjoyable whether or not you ended up with someone. Group dating is the grown-up equivalent of this activity.
In London and spreading elsewhere, there is “Six Dinners Later.” After getting on the site’s guest list, a profile is uploaded. This is a fun one which includes favorite dishes and who would be an ideal dinner companion. Then one waits until invited to a dinner party by another member at his or her house for a potluck. There are three members of each gender at these gatherings. The next step is that one gives a dinner party at their place and includes the former host. You would pick four others from the site to be a part of this gathering. After one attends these “six dinners” they will have met 25 people. This gives the chance to meet new pals as well as potential dates.
In the US a variation on this theme of group dating is “Grouper.” One does a short profile on this dating site and Grouper also checks Facebook to ensure compatible matches for get-togethers. Two people are matched up and they each bring two single friends along with them. This is a little different from “Six Dinners Later” where you totally do not know anyone. The six people are contacted with a date, place and time. A fee is collected that covers the first round of drinks. Sometimes the whole bar will be reserved for “Grouper” members and the host will bring people to the correct tables. Having two buddies with you makes for a fun night whether there are fireworks or not.
Ignighter is a group dating site that originated in New York City. The three founders set it up so that group dates could happen in Central Park or other NYC venues. The reaction to this site was tepid and did not really catch on – except in Asia, particularly India. Co-owner Adam Sachs stated “Here we are, a few Jewish guys sitting in Union Square, and we have accidently revolutionized the dating scene in India.” Ignighter moved its operations to India since 7000 people a day are signing up for this dating service. This is more like getting together for socializing than strictly a matrimonial site.
In the Atlanta area, Singles for Service is a free dating site that combines community service projects with dating. This gives people a way to see other’s more authentic selves when they are helping others. It also serves to enable singles to meet other singles with a similar area of interest. Singles for Service claims to bring “quality singles together.”
MeetUp.com is an international organization with various groups, including singles’ ones. Other groups are according to special interests, such as hiking. Even if not in a specific single’s group, one can meet many fascinating people in the other ones. The MeetUp.com group I am in, gets together for coffees, lectures and so many other activities.
Churches and synagogues often have a single’s group, although may have a wider age span. My divorced friend is quite active in her church’s single group. Cities sometimes have activities and festivals particularly geared to singles and not families. Mine had “Rally in the Alley” which took place in a long alley between sky scrapers. There were live bands and beer on Friday afternoons during the summers.
These examples give you a place to start to see if there are any group dating sites in your community. I worked in a large hospital and we posted where we were going after work so that others could join us. It really is easier to ease into the dating scene from the security of a group.
reached at (740) 919-1248 or through her website.
Wendi Schuller, uses her knowledge as a nurse, Neuro-Linguistic Programmer (NLP), and hypnotherapist, to author the book The Women’s Holistic Guide to Divorce that helps women regaining their strength of inner peace and wisdom. She can be reached by email email@example.com