On Choosing the best divorce Lawyer for you

To “inform” you that it’s essential to have a competent family lawyer during your divorce is as informative as telling you that a competent surgeon is a good idea if you need surgery, or that a competent pilot is helpful on a flight. In other words: it’s just not that earth-shattering. During divorce, you know that you need a competent family lawyer.

But…

What you might not know as clearly is how to choose the right family lawyer. Because, as with all professionals, there are good ones and bad ones. And in addition to this – and here’s where it gets more confusing – there are good family lawyers out there who specialize in an area of law or in a legal approach/strategy, who are good for clients who want and need that specialization/approach, but are bad for clients who don’t. In other words: when the fit isn’t there, a good client + a good family lawyer = a bad match. And a bad match is bad for everyone, including (believe it or not) your family lawyer.

Fortunately, finding the right family lawyer is not a task that requires any specialized knowledge or experience on your part. You simply need to know what to look for and, as the old saying goes, you need to “do your homework.”

Here’s a brief list of things to look for when choosing your family lawyer:

•    Look for a family lawyer who has experience with your divorce situation. For example, if you have a large estate with complex assets, or are concerned that your spouse may be hiding assets, look for a family lawyer who has experience dealing with such issues. Or, if you have no children, there are no complex assets, and you and your spouse intend to proceed amicably, look for a family lawyer who has experience getting clients to the finish line at a minimum of expense and stress. Most family lawyers offer you a free initial consultation to discuss your situation, and help see if the fit is there. Remember: your family lawyer wants to make sure that she/he is the right selection for you, too. That’s how they grow their reputation – by serving the right clients the right way.

•    Look for a family lawyer who is a skilled negotiator and believes in the value of negotiation and fair settlements. Every competent family lawyer (and even judges) will advise you to avoid going to court whenever it’s appropriate, fair, reasonable and responsible to do so. Therefore, your family lawyer’s negotiation skills will influence the fairness and swiftness of a resolution. Keep in mind, however, that there are some situations where court is the only responsible option, so don’t assume that a family lawyer who suggests this to you is incompetent or trying to increase fees. Just make sure that you clearly understand why this is the best/only strategy, and keep asking direct questions until you are satisfied with the answers. And if court is the right option (or the only option), then ensure that your family lawyer can aggressively represent you in court, and has experience throwing her or his legal weight around to protect your interests.

•    Look for a family lawyer who is compassionate – yet firm and not afraid to be very (very) honest with you. Divorce is an emotional roller coaster, and finding a compassionate family lawyer who empathizes with your situation is important. But at the same time, you don’t want a family lawyer who is so hesitant to tell you the truth – even when that truth is ugly or a bit harsh. For example, you may have a lot of justifiable anger towards your spouse, or have understandable emotional attachments to certain assets (e.g. home, artwork, etc.). However, your family lawyer doesn’t help you when she/he neglects to tell you that pursuing a strategy based on anger, or claiming assets based on emotional attachment, might end up costing you financially and possibly in other ways as well. Ultimately, as the title of this tip advises, you want a family lawyer who is compassionate, yet firm and honest — even when it’s hard to be honest.

•    Look for a family lawyer who is not in conflict with your best interests. When choosing professionals of any kind, people often turn to their internal networks. However, if your potential family lawyer has a relationship with your spouse – such as a friendship, business relationship or a familial relationship – then keep looking. While the ideal goal of any divorce process is amicable resolution, things may not head in that direction – at least not at first. You want a clear, open relationship with your family lawyer. You (and your family lawyer, for that matter) don’t want to deal with, or worry about, the awkward or even the damaging impact of conflict of interest. You also don’t want to spark a family feud because of divided loyalties. Keep things simple and clear.

There are other factors to look for when choosing the right family lawyer, but the above should get you headed in the right direction. For more insights on choosing your family lawyer and other divorce professionals, read the article Your Divorce Team at DivorceMagazine.com.

Dan Couvrette is a marketing expert, public speaker, magazine publisher, and artist. He is the CEO of and Divorce Marketing Group, a Toronto-based marketing agency dedicated to helping divorce professionals (such as lawyers, financial advisors and mediators) across North America market their services; and the CEO & Publisher of Divorce Magazine and www.DivorceMagazine.com. Connect with him on LinkedIn, Twitter and Facebook. He can be reached at (866) 803-6667 ex. 24 or danc@divorcemag.com.