Stop Divorce induced Stress


Stop what you are doing for just a moment and take a nice deep breath!

Let it out…AHHHH…NICE or NOT? Pay attention to your body. Did your chest feel tight? Was it hard to breathe deeply? Were you saying to yourself, “this is silly I don’t have time to stop and breathe deeply?”

If you answered yes, to any of these questions, you are most likely under stress. Stress induced by divorce is the number two stressor in all the country. Number one is the death of your spouse. Putting this into perspective your divorce causes you more stress than your job, your kids, or even your aging parents.

During and even after a divorce stress becomes the normal all too often! Actually, stress is so normal that you may not even be aware of it. There are so many changes that occur during this time in your life that your body and mind go into autopilot. Most people cease to worry about self-care or stress. They just want to get through another day.

I remember when I went through my divorce and stress was wreaking havoc with my health. I asked my good friend Kathy, “When will things just be normal again?” Her answer shocked me. She replied, “five years or so.”  I did not want to believe her, but she was pretty much right on the mark. Oh, things got better each day but for all the pieces of my life to be settled and happy, it took about five years.

Teacher and Scholar Robert Sapolsky, at Stanford University, offers some good advice when he tells each person to find what stress busters work best for them. We are all different and of course one size does not fit all. You need to experiment with what works for you. See his video here:

First you will need to set a strong intention to let go of stress. Be committed to your own self-care. Then experiment with what stress busters work best for you.

Simple stress busters to experiment with:

Exercise daily. Even a short walk will do wonders for some people. Yoga is an exercise discipline that works for many women to reduce stress and become more limber.

Meditate once or twice daily. There are several kinds of meditation. Often just sitting quietly for 10-20 minutes and letting all your thoughts float in and out can bring down your blood pressure.

Get out! Stand up and walk outdoors. Most likely you will have an instant shift. Things just feel different when you are connecting with nature.

Pet your dog. Animals are great stress busters. If you don’t own a dog then you can always volunteer at a shelter.

Simply play. You can do this with your kids or your friends. Go bowling, play softball, go dancing or try my favorite, fly a kite. HAVE FUN!!!!

Don’t over drink or over eat. This puts excess pressure on your already comprised system due to stress. You might even want to eat more fruits and vegetables. Foods high in vitamin C are known to reduce stress.  Magnesium helps prevent stress and you can find it in spinach and pumpkin seeds.

Work with a Coach or Counselor. Talking with a third party can help you not only let go of stress but it can assist you to get a whole new perspective on life.

Spiritual. Get in touch with your beliefs and let them nourish you.

Listen to music. Research has shown music is not only good for stress management but it is also therapeutic. Put your favorite music on today and let the stress busting begin. 

There are many things that reduce stress. If you didn’t find yours here, then think back to what you loved to do as a kid. Swim, bike, run! The ideas are endless. It is only important that you choose one or more that work for you and begin to use it everyday!


Judith Geiger is the Be in Love Again Coach specializing in assisting Women to Thrive after Divorce. Her programs include ‘Finding SELF after Divorce’ and ‘Dating without Stress after Divorce’. For a Free Relationship Readiness Assessment visit her website or directly connect with Judith at 315 497 3059.


  1. James says:

    Hi Judith

    Great article. I have meditated for over 30 years and still find it so incredibly useful as a tool to de-stress and calm the mind .The other great de-stresser is a good old ‘hug’!!
    People going through a relationship breakdown can suffer high stress levels , so these tips are very useful



  2. steven lee says:

    Great article.. We forget about the stress that each person and everyone around them are going through… Lots of negative energy flowing through the household… Great Tips…

  3. Way cool, some valid points! I appreciate you making this article available, the rest of the site is also well done. Have a great day.

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