There is no right decision

Many times in life, we are faced with situations that don’t present us with a clear “right” or “wrong” decision. When it comes to divorce, it sometimes seems as if there is no right decision. Emotions run high, couples work hard at one-upmanship or baiting each other into fighting; they look for ways to hurt each other and continually assume aggressive/defensive postures.

It is no wonder that so many bad decisions can be made in this emotionally triggered state. It is also likely that there is no clear “right” decision with regard to particular issues regarding the relationship or the divorce.

So what do you do?

Make the best decision you can make and then make the decision right.

What do I mean by this?

Make any decision that will move you forward, and then give yourself permission to let the decision be the right one, regardless of how you feel about it. You won’t always have enough information, energy, desire, or focus to make a perfect decision. So don’t bother trying. Simply make a decision, make it right, and then adjust as you go until the next decision point comes along.

BONUS: Try not to be paralyzed by the emotion or let it drive your thought process. A good way to decrease the emotional pull on the situation is to create a vision of the kind of person you want to be known as after the divorce. Use this vision of your “new” self to guide your decision-making as you go through the process. What you do today determines who you are tomorrow.

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