Why Write Books on Divorce?

People often ask me why I am writing a series of books on divorce. The easy answer is that I have seen too many bad divorces and too few good divorces. And I know that kids benefit for good divorces.

I also enjoy writing and one has to grab a subject and get deeply into it in order to write with intelligence. There are other subjects that move me, spiritually and children, child development, the nature of yearning and even the history of science. (Not to mention, how to make marriages a better option than divorce.) But when you see the dam breaking, one feels compelled to hold the water back.

Too many people divorce in too selfish a way. This is fueled by many factors. Society teaches us that our own needs come first. I don’t agree with this value. Self preservation in divorce compels men and women to fight for what they are due. I agree that this makes sense, but once someone starts this fight, the other person’s will be compelled to protect himself. These fights are often very costly financially and to the well being of the children, who have to watch from the sidelines.

Finally too many people simply start new lives and impose it on the kids before they are ready. I don’t agree with this. Patience has its virtue and let kids digest the divorce before providing them with more change.

So, why write so much on divorce? Over one million children are affected by divorce every year in the United States. I hope to make a difference in their lives.


Dr. Banschick is a child and adolescent psychiatrist. He has been quoted in The New York Times, The Huffington Post and The CBS Early Show. He is currently finishing the second of three books in The Intelligent Divorce series, which are devoted to teaching parents how to raise well adjusted kids during a divorce. You can reach him at mbanschick@gmail.com or at www.theintelligentdivorce.com

Comments are closed.