Posts belonging to Category Stress

How to Negotiate a Successful Love Relationship Agreement © 2011

When you have a challenge in your love relationship you have only four choices:  1.      Change yourself (this requires introspection and self-honesty); 2.      Negotiate for modifications (this necessitates effective listening and a demonstration of understanding); 3.      Leave the relationship (if you have tried the first two, including professional guidance to no avail); 4.      Don’t do [...]

ACCEPTANCE OR RESISTANCE; CHOOSE…It’s Your Choice Not to Suffer

I have found that what divorcing people want most, next to healthy, thriving children, is to be at peace and happy again.  They want to end their suffering and feel better; shed the anger, pain, anxiety and stress that often come with dissolving a marriage.  Having peace of mind and being happy with your life [...]

THINGS YOUR BURGLAR WON’T TELL YOU

I know I normally talk about family law matters, but this information is too valuable not to pass on.  The author of the following information also suggests you place your car keys by your bed so you can hit your car alarm button on your keys if a burglar enters, and to get wasp spray [...]

Surviving Separation

New to blogging here — but I’d like to share an edited excerpt from my book Surviving Separation and Divorce: A Woman’s Guide to Regaining Control, Building Strength & Confidence and Securing a Financial Future (second edition) by Loriann Oberlin, MS While written for women long before I began second career in mental health, I [...]

Balancing Back to School Budget

Balance Needs VS Wants There is a ton of pier pressure around back to school clothing and supplies.  Make a list of their “needs” and agree that the children will get one or two of their “wants” met and then allocate a set dollar amount that they are free to spend. Set Budget in Advance [...]

The Emptiness of Rejection

It is difficult for anyone to understand how terrible it is to be in a marriage with someone who simply does not love you anymore. You see: to come home to nothing is a terrible pain. Human beings need love and affection like plants need water. We are dry and half dead without it. We [...]

Denial, for Better and for Worse

Denial is a natural part of the grief process; this isn’t really happening to me! The Value of Denial: When you are first told about divorce or a medical illness for that matter, the mind often drops into denial. It protects you from the fear of what is to come. It gives you some time [...]

The Pursuit of Happiness

As a student of philosophy I am often struck by how the values of culture can influence each individual, whether we know it or not. Religious faith, for instance seems to correlate with a longer lifespan, less alcohol abuse and better marital life. It may be that the values of the church/synagogue/mosque simply influence a [...]

TIPS ON MOVING OUT SURREPTITIOUSLY TO AVOID ABUSE

Be sure he is gone. It is best if he is far enough away that he cannot get back in time if he is alerted. Be prepared for the possibility he may have alerted a neighbor to keep an eye on things for him. Move fast. Make sure all arrangements are made ahead of time [...]

Stop Divorce induced Stress

  Stop what you are doing for just a moment and take a nice deep breath! Let it out…AHHHH…NICE or NOT? Pay attention to your body. Did your chest feel tight? Was it hard to breathe deeply? Were you saying to yourself, “this is silly I don’t have time to stop and breathe deeply?” If [...]

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