Social Media in Divorce

Posted by Author - Wendi Schuller on September 1, 2014

Many divorcing people are warned by lawyers not to post anything about their soon-to-be-ex on social media sites. You may have strict privacy settings, but not all of your friends do. This can hurt you in divorce proceedings when tactless statements about your spouse are on your friend’s social media sites. Even comments that you made in the pub may wind up as quotes on other people sites who have lax privacy settings.

Interviewers and bosses may be perusing Facebook and other sites. One woman made disparaging remarks about her boss and company that were repeated on her friend’s Facebook site. This woman had signed an agreement when hired, not to make public statements about her workplace or the personnel. She had strict privacy controls, however others did not, so these complaints circulated in the public domain. She was fired. In divorce, it could hurt you if the opposing lawyer finds out some unfavourable gossip with you as the source. It is critical to keep a job especially when money is tight post-divorce, so do not post anything that can be construed as negative. Have a talk with friends regarding what is allowed to be posted about you in general, on their sites. Some bosses and interviewers ask (demand) to be friended on new hire’s social media sites.

Before getting a divorce, delete any nude photos and erotic videos. Be vigilant and possibly hire a computer expert to make sure there are none lurking around including on phones. The last thing that you want is for these to go viral at a later date, as has happened to some celebrities recently. This is not what you would want your children to view. Consider never letting any sexy pictures be taken of you in future relationships, so this is not a potential problem with a vindictive ex.

Some people have said that they only post on social media what they would want their mothers to read. They save the really juicy bits for gossip sessions with friends with an oath of privacy. My girlfriends and I still do the pinkie finger shake from grade school, when something absolutely cannot be repeated.

There have been court cases where social media remarks have been introduced as evidence. I know about this, because I passed around my husband’s profile from a dating site, stating he was single and without kids, during my divorce.

Do not check your ex’s sites, particularly if the painful divorce was not your choice. Seeing laughing photos with new dates is not therapeutic for moving on. It is also difficult if some of your family members are in your ex’s camp. Do you really want to read loving comments from them to your former spouse? If money is tight, do you want to know about his exotic trips? No. It is easier to heal from divorce when not seeking updates about your former spouse, but rather enlarging your own social network instead.

Wendi Schuller, uses her knowledge as a nurse, Neuro-Linguistic Programmer (NLP), and hypnotherapist, to author the book The Women’s Holistic Guide to Divorce that helps women regaining their strength of inner peace and wisdom. She can be reached by email wendischuller@hotmail.com

reached at (740) 919-1248 or through her website.