Despite the Divorce, Take Charge of Yourself

Take a look at the diagram below:

The image above depicts something you see frequently in divorce—individuals whose personal selves are crowded out by that which surrounds them. I am quite certain that anyone going through a divorce can relate to not having enough time for herself. It also makes sense, there are so many competing demands and very often, just one parent instead of two. But this type of life just cannot hold up – you have to take charge of your destiny.

Smart parents find time for themselves. They schedule in time to be with friends and family, time to exercise, time to eat right and time to sleep. And this can make all the difference in the world. If you feel tended to, you will overreact less often and have a more even tempered approach to your ex and to the kids.

Dr. Banschick is a child and adolescent psychiatrist. He has been quoted in The New York Times, The Huffington Post and The CBS Early Show. He is currently finishing the second of three books in The Intelligent Divorce series, which are devoted to teaching parents how to raise well adjusted kids during a divorce. You can reach him at or at


  1. That is a brilliant diagram and isn’t it so true, how pictures can say a thousand words! I love it! thanks for sharing it.

  2. That is correct, remember you got divorced for good reasons. You and your partner have come to the end of the road and it is time to start a new life. Divorce is an emotional and life changing event.

    Attorney Bill Bishop.